Rosebudders

Two Rosebudders were driving through the Pine Ridge
Reservation when they were pulled over by a Tribal cop.
The police officer walked up to the drivers window tapped on
it with his night stick and as the Rosebudder opened the window
the tribal cop wacked him along the side of the head
with his night stick.

"Hey what was that for I didn't do anything". said the driver.

"Your in Oglala Country now, the next time you
should have your drivers license out and ready" said the officer.

He went back and checked out everything and found it was OK.
After he returned the license he walked around to the
passenger side and tapped on the window with his night stick.

As the other Rosebudder rolled the window down he wacked him
along side the head with his stick.
"Heeeeyyyy what the hell was that for man?
I ain't doing nothing but sittin here" cried the Rosebudder.

"I'm just making your wishes come true" said the Oglala.

"Huh! what the heck does that mean"? the uneducated
Rosebudder said whimpering. "Cause I know your going to get
down the road a half mile and say
"I wish he woulda tried that shit with me".





Wannabe Application





YOU SHOULD HAVE HIRED US TO

CONTINUE TO RUN THE COUNTRY.

In the Beginning when white man found this land,
Indians were running it.

No Taxes...

No Debt...

Plenty Buffalo...

Plenty Beaver,

Women did most of the work.

Medicine Man was free!

Indian men hunted and fished all the time!

White man dumb enough
to think he could improve system like that

Robert Scheele, Musket USA




YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO LOSE WEIGHT WHEN:

1. You can't see your moccasin strings anymore.

2. When you bend over while traditional dancing,
and you can't get back up.

3. When you bring zip lock bags and a
sack to the pow-wow feast.

4. When you can't fit your choker
cause you don't have a neck.

5. When your family has to stop half way
to the pow-wow to put new springs on your car.

6. When the car tilts downward on you side.

7. When you eat Indian Tacos like potato chips.

8. When you have to "rock" a couple of times to
get up form you chair.

9. When you can't feel the mosquito bites.

10. When people mistake you for a teepee
when you wear white T-shirts.

11. When it's necessary to lift up your stomach
to show off your new beaded belt buckle.

12. Or when you have to lie down to show off
your new beaded beltnbspbuckle.

13. When buying a coke, the waitress asks,"Diet?"

14. When you almost pass out in the sweathouse
when only using one rock.

15. When you start to get scared your
belly button might come untied.

16. When people ask you advice about good places to eat,
and where's the best fry bread stand.

17. When the jingles on your jingle dress stick straight out.

18. When your buckskin dress is as wide as it is long.

19. When dancers use you for shade at the pow-wow.

20. When you get in line a second time at the pow-wow feast
and pretend your getting a plate "for Grandma".

21. Or when you have a new baby and people tell you
they didn't know you were pregnant.

22. When your large beautiful brown eyes
have now turned to slits when you smile.

23. When you lose a $1,000.00 dance contest because
your excess didn't stop in time with the drum.



37
An elderly white couple went on vacation decided
to drive through the rez

They decided to get out and walk around the town

The old woman said "Hun, whats that old Indian doin?"

The old man said "I don't know"

He walked over to where the old Indian was.
The old Indian was looking down a hole sayin "37 37 37"

The old white man looked down the hole
and couldn't see anything

He asked the old Indian, " What are you looking at
down that hole and why are you counting?"

The old Indian looked at the white man..

Pushes the white man in the hole.. "38 38 38."



An Indian and a blonde are driving down
the road when suddenly the car breaks down

What do you have???


A BLOWN INJUN!!!!!!

AYEEEEE



The Missionary

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of
natives how to farm and build things to be
self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home.

He realizes that the one thing he never
taught the natives was how to speak English,
so he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.

He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the missionary
points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The missionary is really getting enthusiastic about
the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.
As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple of natives
in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The missionary is really flustered
and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly,
pulls out his blow gun and kills them.

The missionary goes ballistic and yells at the chief.

"I've spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized
and kind to each other, so how could you kill
these people in cold blood that way?"

The chief replied, "MY BIKE!!."




These two indians are sittin at the bar.

1 has women all over him.

The other one just sittin there nursin a beer.

He taps the one on the shoulder,
hey, can i talk to ya a minute?

Sure, what's up man?

Hey, why you got all those womens,
an I can't get even the ugly one?

Well man,
ya gota go get a potato an stick it in your pocket

A potato? That's it?

So he runs home,
gets a potato sticks it in his pocket.

Comes back to the bar. sits . sits. . still no women

He taps on the shoulder again,

Hey man, this potato thing ain't workin.

Oh hehe ya dummy,
ya supposed to put it in your BACK pocket

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